Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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