Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
