Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
