Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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