I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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