Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
