The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
