u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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