I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize