JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
