So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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