You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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