Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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