we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
