Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
