Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
