Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
