Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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