I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
