Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
