So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
