you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
