The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
