Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
barbara walters just said penis...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
