Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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