White coat. Heels.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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