why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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