I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
