I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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