you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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