Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
