just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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