Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
