It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
