i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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