this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
