She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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