the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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