Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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