Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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