I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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