You smell like a Billy Joel song
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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