Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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