Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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