I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
