Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
