booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Randomize
