worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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