Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
