Me too!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
