Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
