The maid of honor just puked.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I need moral support for this bender
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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