we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Watching her eat just hurts me
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
