can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize