I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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