i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
