it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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