Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
