what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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