dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
